Are You Being Authentic?

Here’s a funny thing: you can be an honest and truthful person and still not be authentic.

That doesn’t seem to make sense, does it?

But I’ll tell you why it’s true:

Most women are really good at being caring and nurturing and kind and honest with everyone around them – from their family to their clients.

And yet there’s one person we deceive all the time.

Can you guess who that is?

Yep – ourselves.

And that directly affects our level of authenticity…and our level of anxiety.

Why?

Because we question ourselves all the time – we wonder if we’re doing the right thing, making the best choice, following the proper path, using the correct tools. We question our habits, our relationships, our vocation, our appearance, our knowledge, our home, our understanding, our lifestyle, our inherent worthiness.

And we find ourselves lacking.

We tell ourselves lies.

“I’m not young enough to…”

“”I wouldn’t know where to begin to…”

“I don’t understand how to…”

“I’m not pretty enough to…”

“I’ve made too many mistakes to…”

“I don’t have the brains to…”

“It’s too late to…”

“I don’t have the time/energy/money to…”

“{Someone} will think {something bad} if I were to…”

“I’d be crazy to…”

“Nobody would understand if I were to…”

Here’s the thing, though: All those things you think of doing – and then immediately begin telling yourself lies about – they’re your authenticity.

They’re the things that, if you could just go ahead and do them without fear of the repercussions, you’d light up.

And authenticity can only be suppressed for just so long before one of three things happens:

  • You yield to the pressure, put your head down and live a life of quiet desperation hallmarked by anxiety, depression and pain;
  • You reach a tipping point and snap, setting into motion a domino effect that causes cataclysmic change;
  • You choose to take back your power and begin to align with your authenticity and design something different.

I love the tongue-in-cheek message in the old Martina McBride song, When God-Fearing Women Get the Blues – everything from the underlying suggestion that at woman stepping into her authenticity has “gone crazy” to the “how dare she” reactions of her community, suggesting that a woman’s primary responsibility is to everyone BUT herself.

There’s an equally strong message here, too: there’s tremendous freedom in being authentic.

All that anxiety – all those questions – just fade away because you’re finally listening to your internal guidance system.

Does that mean you have to derail your entire life?

Of course not…

unless it needs derailing, that is.

Sometimes, that’s what it takes.

Other times, it’s getting into greater and greater alignment with your authentic self, taking daily steps toward telling yourself the truth about your ability to activate your dreams and shedding your limitation thinking.

I’ve been on a several-year journey to being my authentic self and undoing a lifetime of lies – those told to me first by others that then became my personal mantra…the chief of which is “I’m stupid…”

which is pretty ridiculous…

considering I’m actually very smart.

Hell. back in 1995 when I didn’t want to leave my infant daughter to back to work at the bank, I bought a Stedman’s Medical Dictionary (about 5 inches thick!), taught myself medical terminology and created a 20-year, pretty lucrative career out of it.

And I do the Sunday crossword – in ink – in under an hour usually.

And if I have an interest (or a curiosity) and I have a little time, I can teach myself pretty much anything – from how to treat a particular illness to how to put together a Facebook ad.

My mind catalogs and sorts data automatically, and sees connections between things with ease.

I can also organize, plan and execute just about anything with no trouble – from a household move to a website.

I taught myself all the virtual skills I needed to develop my own online business – and to do VA work to pay the bills while I built it – and then taught those skills to my daughters and to individual clients.

So I’ve had the proof for a long time that I’m not really stupid…

but over the years, I’ve also made some bad decisions and poor choices…

and that evidence that “I’m stupid” was much stronger than all the evidence that I’m smart put together.

Part of how I healed – finally – was discovering all the family, social and cultural programming that was operating in my life (that had become my limiting beliefs) and cutting my ties with any programming that didn’t support me (read: my authentic self).

And that includes getting rid of the “I’m stupid” response to everything I do.

It’s my key limiting belief – the one that often keeps me from moving forward with something new.

It shows up as different kinds of resistance, everything from “did I do this right?” to “what if *they* think I’m wrong?”

It’s been a tough nut to crack because it runs deep – I can trace it back throughout my whole life – so I’m still working on it.

I’ve gotten really good at having confidence around telling my guy what I think – even when I know he’ll disagree; and in being decisive about what I will and won’t do in my personal life; and in providing answers to questions asked by family, friends and private clients; and in knowing how I want to live my life.

But this business thing?

Oy! It’s been a challenge.

It’s stretched my healing further than anything else has – including moving into a new relationship a year and a half ago which, given the disastrous nature of my past relationships, I’d have though would be my biggest challenge!

I’ve come face to face with my “I’m stupid” belief over and over…

and OVER.

And I’m over it.

Today, I’m declaring to the world that I’m SMART!

And I’m done playing around with believing I need to learn more, research more, survey more, network more, work with a few more private clients, write more, create more, design more, vet the concept more, work behind the scenes more…

prove I’m not stupid some more.

But back to your authenticity – I’ll ask again: Are you being authentic?

Are you doing the things that light you up – that you dream of doing? Or, are you staying stuck in your own version of “I’m stupid?”

What is your key limiting belief – the one that drives all the others – that stops you from activating your authenticity, and how do you step through it?

Let me know in the comments below. It’s beyond time for all women to be their authentic selves without apology!

Love & Blessings,

Katt

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About The Author

Katt Tozier

Katt Tozier is a writer, podcast host, and Divine Life Flow Guide. Through a unique combination of intuitive reading and practical guidance, she helps women clear the patterns that keep them trapped so they can invoke their healing power. Katt is the Founder of Indomitable Women; she believes, as women, our power is in our individuality and our strength is in our unity, and she facilitates gathering spiritual women together to support our collective healing.

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